"He who sends out balls out crazy emails to his daughter shall find them used for LOLz on the information superhighway"

From: Menabus .XXXX@gmail.com>
To: Mom @yahoo.com>; Dad @yahoo.com>
Sent: Mon, November 1, 2010 10:38:59 AM
Subject:

Here's my new address :)

xxxxxx

San Francisco, CA 94xxx

On Sat, Nov 6, 2010 at 6:05 PM, Dad @yahoo.com> wrote:

Asslamu Alikum,
Pl. tell every body the following:
1-ISLAM IS A PERFECT RELIGION
PROVE TO ME THAT I AM WRONG!!!
2-ALQURAN IS A PERFECT RELIGIOUS TRANSCRIPT
PROVE TO ME THAT I AM WRONG!!!
OTHERWISE!!!!!

From: Menabus .XXXXXX@gmail.com>
Date: Mon, Nov 8, 2010 at 8:57 AM
Subject: Re: prove me wrong
To: Dad @yahoo.com>


Ok, but what does that have to do with my new address?

"O! Foolish is she who underestimates the power of the breasts to expand and contract, for she shall find herself with a new set of chesticles!"

Yesterday, I made a bet with a friend that I could shrink my chest down two cup sizes. If I win, she'll have to get a boob job. She does not know that my two closest friends are fickle. They expand, they shrink--they never stay the same. Following a regime of diet, aerobic activity and focused activity, victory will be mine! I may look like an Olsen twin smuggling some grapefruits, but victory WILL BE MINE.

"The mind hath not be given to be turned off. Thou who posses a mind will find he hath not the power to turn it off during Michael Bay movies"

From the collective 20 minutes I watched of the transformers:

Bad robots are looking for Shia LaBeouf. Why? I mean if you can't find him, I would just accept it as a good thing and stop looking for him.

The bad robots demand LaBeouf to be turned over. They do it by flashing his driver's license and social security number across the screen.

I know the robots are supposed to be evil, but setting someone up for identity theft is just low.

"He whom hath the strength to live with a crazy female, hath strength to accomplish great things"

My mother once told me that my engagement ring was cubic zirconia. I told my dad this and he replied, "She didn't say that, your mother cannot even pronounce cubic zirconia"